Daily Archives: February 5, 2012

Feeling Lost

Sometimes I wander through the house, looking at pictures on the wall, wondering how Time passed so quickly. I see my children making decisions about what to wear, and how to style their hair, and even what kind of milk they prefer, and wonder when I was demoted from that job. I look around me and feel lost, no longer sure of my job here, or if I’m doing a good job, or even if I still have a job. I see them losing patience with me when I restrict their TV habits or tell them a certain movie is too adult or scary for them. I hear their sighs when they have to explain to me where they will be, and with whom, and when they will come home, and who is chaperoning the event. Sometimes late at night, I cry for what I have lost, knowing I won’t ever get it back, and wonder if they understand that it hurts me to see them splintering the bounds of childhood. Being a parent is not just tough. It’s extremely painful and sad. But it’s also wonderful and full of joy and happiness.

And through the pain and the fighting and the struggles, I know I would never change any of it. I only pray that when it’s their turn that they have it easier. And that they have a new appreciation for their mother 😉