Stupid State Laws

Here in Texas, we enjoy some rather out-dated laws:

It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

It is illegal to sell one’s eye.

The entire Encyclopaedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

It is illegal to urinate on The Alamo.

It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.

It is illegal to own an alligator without a permit.

It is illegal to modify the weather without a permit.

It is also illegal to try to modify the weather without first putting a notice in the local paper.

I have to admit, I’m intrigued at the gator permit. I wonder how one goes about asking for one 😉

About LC Aggie Sith

Machete-wielding zombie killer when not shopping for shoes. View all posts by LC Aggie Sith

18 responses to “Stupid State Laws

  • Radio CIA

    When planning a hotel stay in buffalo country, I always choose one three stories or higher.

  • Lemur King

    Illegal to sell one’s eye?

    How about the legality of frying and eating one’s own testicles? I mean, come on… they’re pretty equivalently stupid.

    Illegal to milk another person’s cow is covered under the Ten Commandments. Number seven, right?

    Ok, please don’t ban me. I just had a shin cup and they always make me loopy.

  • John D

    “I wonder how one goes about asking for one”

    If it were NY, it would probably involve a lot of paperwork and a really large fee. Then some judge would have to grant the permit, at his discretion. Naturally, there would be no refund of the fee if you’re denied.

  • flyoverhere

    You forgot it is illegal to own the Encyclopedia Brittanica because it contains a formula for brewing beer at home……I swear I didn’t know this, thankfully I sold our Encyclopedias in a garage sale 20 years ago but I have been known to save empty Corona bottles…:-)

  • Laura

    I’ve owned baby gators before! Sure did. They were quite popular as pets when I was a child. They were also the most undevoted pets on the face of the planet. Luckily I survived that fad with all my fingers and toes.

  • Nicole

    Humph. Dern politicians. It’s my eye. I’ll do what I want with it.

  • The Queen

    Does this mean that you and I broke the law when we did our rain dances?

  • Big'Un

    “Milking another person’s cow” sounds like thinly-veiled euphemisms. Try saying it with “If you know what I mean” afterwards….

    Same with urinating on the Alamo: “Sharon’s a total FREAK! She and Ozzy were together last night, and she totally let him “urinate on the Alamo” (if you know what I mean)…”

    Strange laws indeed….

  • Jay in Ames

    In Los Angeles, It is not legal to bathe two babies at the same time in the same tub.

  • Lizard

    Some silliness from the state of WI:

    Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

    Margarine may not be substituted for butter in restaurants unless it is requested by the customer.

    Livestock have the right-of-way on public roads.

    It is illegal to kiss on a train.

    Flushing devices for urinals. The department shall not promulgate any rules which either directly or indirectly prohibit the use of manual flushing devices for urinals. The department shall take steps to encourage the use of manual flushing devices for urinals.

    While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.

    It is a class A misdemeanor to wave a burning torch around in the air

    And from the city of Hudson, WI:
    Screen requirements. From May 1 to October 1, in every dwelling unit, for protection against mosquitoes, flies and other insects, every door opening directly from a dwelling unit to outdoor space shall have supplied and installed screens and a self-closing device, and every window or other device with openings to outdoor space used or intended to be used for ventilation shall likewise be supplied with screens installed.

  • Nomstress

    Wonder where you apply for that license to modify the weather…

  • singlewhitealcoholicseekssame

    I would trade every one of those crazy laws to get rid of Utah’s ridiculous liquor laws.

    -3.2 beer except in the state liquor store.

    -One ounce of liquor in a drink (up to 2.5 ounces if it’s a mix of drinks, like a Long Island).

    -Can’t have a shot with a mixed drink (good bartenders will hold your drink just out of reach while you do your shot, then give it back immediately to chase with).

    -Restaurants can only serve you one drink without ordering food. Also, a new law, new restaurants must have the bar hidden so patrons cannot see drinks being made. Apparently the allure of seeing a bartender shake a martini is GUARANTEED to turn impressionable young Mormons into alcoholics…

  • Lizard

    OMG……I cannot move to Utah and I am not even that much of a drinker.

    Stop laughing Aggie.

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