I have a quandary. This being a Hungarian-Puerto Rican family here, we obviously observe a faux German tradition*. We are extremely hoi polloi here. Anyway, tradition holds that you hang a green pickle ornament on the tree on Christmas Eve, and whichever child finds it, gets a special gift.
This year, a complaint was filed by Little One against this so-called tradition. You see, her sister is 5′ 8″, and her brother 5′ 10″, and she is still in the “Pocket Venus” range of 5′ 2″, putting her mad searching skillz at a disadvantage. In her opinion, such a tradition is severely biased against the shortest member of the family and, as such, should be banned.
I told her this is the Empire of Aggie™, and the ACLU has no jurisdiction here.
She wisely relented, but asked that I give consideration to her plight, which translated means that she whined until I told her to shut it. But since they all want a shot at the special gift, I have decided that the pickle shall be hidden somewhere in the living room, giving everyone even odds of finding it.
And giving me peace and quiet around here 🙂
*It is celebrated here in the US as a German tradition, but oddly, my friends in Germany have never heard of it, and I found no stories in Bavaria to account for it.