Weird Conversations, and Why I Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Talk Before I Have Coffee

I swear, sometimes it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed. Last night I went to bed rather late, since Eldest was practicing her Parade and March stuff for ROTC in the kitchen, and right as I fell asleep I got an anxiety attack, so I laid in bed waiting for an hour for it to subside, thinking stupid existentialistic crap that probably solved the world’s problems, but I promptly forgot after dreaming about narwhals. Why narwhals? Because Eldest had been talking about them a couple of days ago. Crap like that just lies in wait to assault my REMs.

This morning I got up, and tripped over the little dog as I made my way with one eye open to the coffeemaker. You would think I could not screw that up, right? But noooo…. instead of creamer I poured lemon juice into my cup of coffee, not looking because A) the bottles are similar in color and size, and 2) the dog was barking to be let out. I’m hiding the bottle of lemon juice in the back of the fridge from now on.

So, I have my second cup with creamer, just in time to Skype with Hubby. YAY!! So, we talk about stuff going on over there and soon enough we are all, “Oh I miss you honey!” and “I miss you too!” and then we talk of how some stuff over there is so weird and suddenly for no reason I say:

I know! I just don’t understand why they (Muslims) would want 72 virgins. I mean, that just doesn’t make sense to me. I would rather have 72 hookers. They would know what they are doing, right?

And Hubby just looks at me with a lot of pity, because that part of the conversation had absolutely nothing to do why we miss each other. Or maybe it did, and I missed it. All I know is that today is a three pot of coffee day and I am soooo going to have a nap.