I swear my appliances are possessed. My dishwasher decides when to turn on, and IF she wants to leak. My microwave? Her light dims if I touch the door in a certain fashion. The filter in the refrigerator decides it needs changing one day, but not the next. The stove is the only thing that works in my kitchen without a glitch. The washing machine talks if she is…. agitated. And the vacuum cleaner? Let’s just call her Jaws.
At least I’m used to their little quirks and complaints. Where some people talk to their plants, I talk to my appliances. I soothe them before turning on a cycle, and I tell them they did a great job after they are done. I even buy the expensive cleaners for them, and make sure to keep them spic and span.
I’ve seen too many movies where they can turn on you for being an ingrate. I don’t want to take chances 😉
November 29th, 2011 at 11:22 AM
There are worse things than having appliances that are possessed. For instance, having your appliances repossessed. 😉
November 29th, 2011 at 11:45 AM
Shotguns were made for those thing going out of control……
November 29th, 2011 at 1:22 PM
“I’m used to their little quirks and complaints….I soothe them before turning them on, and I tell them they did a great job after they are done. I even buy the expensive cleaners for them, and make sure to keep them spic and span.”
Will you marry me?
November 29th, 2011 at 1:57 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You kill me 😀
November 29th, 2011 at 1:45 PM
It’s not my appliances, it’s my cars.
November 29th, 2011 at 1:58 PM
She’s not named Christine, is she??
November 30th, 2011 at 5:48 AM
Hopefully not a Buick 8 either…
November 29th, 2011 at 2:00 PM
Take my stove please!
The door to the oven is partially off the hinges, it cooks unevenly because the door doesn’t close properly, one burner doesn’t turn on at all, two burners you have to light to use, it needs a cleaning top to bottom, and I am deathly afraid to open the broiler.
Fortunately the dishwasher only takes a leak four times a day 🙂
November 29th, 2011 at 4:31 PM
“Honey! C’mon over here, Sugar-buns. This machine just called me an asshole!”
November 29th, 2011 at 6:31 PM
a healthy plan, indeed
November 29th, 2011 at 8:07 PM
Y’all noticed I referred to all of them as females? 😀
November 30th, 2011 at 2:34 AM
Want to try a fun test of your microwave? Put your cell phone in it and close the door. Call it from you land line…if it rings, you have a leak in the seal which means you’re irradiating yourself (with non ionizing EM radiation. Uncomfortable, but you won’t glow in the dark) if you stand there watching your food cook.
Another is to cut a grape mostly in half, leaving a bit of skin intact to hold the two hemispheres together. Put a glass over it, and fire the sucker up. Set the timer for maybe twenty seconds and observe the fourth state of matter.
November 30th, 2011 at 7:24 AM
I know what you mean…classical music works for me. My appliances behave when I play it. Strange, but true.
November 30th, 2011 at 8:47 AM
Hmmm…this post brings to mind several stories I’ve read, such as “The Mangler” by Stephen King. If you haven’t heard of or read that one, it’s a short story in his collection “Night Shift.” You’ll be real careful around appliances after reading that story. 😀
December 4th, 2011 at 7:41 AM
Two words: “Maximum Overdrive”. Silly movie, awesome soundtrack. Very fitting to this tale.
December 1st, 2011 at 6:53 AM
“The Mangler” oh…. I hadn’t thought of that story for a long time. That collection of short stories is the BEST!
December 1st, 2011 at 8:15 AM
Gotta agree, Queen, some of King’s best work is his short stories. I seem to remember “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption” was made into quite a movie.
And the vacuum cleaner? Let’s just call her Jaws.
Speaking of movies, now I want to watch Mr. Mom again.
“220, 221, whatever it takes.” “You fed a baby chili?” etc.
December 1st, 2011 at 8:28 AM
Oh, thank GOODNESS someone got that reference! I was beginning to think I was too old 😀