Kids Say the Darnest Things

Last night we were sitting at the kitchen table, discussing general school stuff and winding the day down, when Little One started a storm.

Little One: Well, she thinks she’s swag.

Son: Hearing that term makes me want to kick a puppy!!

Little One: What??

Momma: Excuse me??

Daddy: (laughing too hard to say anything intelligent here).

Kick a puppy?? Where do kids get this stuff? Certainly not from moi. Oh sure… I use several idioms and terms that would make people cringe, but never would I use “kick a puppy”!! I would sooner hang a perp by his toenails and make him feel the wrath of my machete than kick a puppy.

That’s just inhumane, y’all.

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About LC Aggie Sith

Machete-wielding zombie killer when not a stay-at-home mom. View all posts by LC Aggie Sith

11 responses to “Kids Say the Darnest Things

  • QueenBee

    Where did “She thinks she’s swag” come from?

  • John D

    I thought swag was a slang expression for stolen merchandise. At least it used to be.

  • LC Aggie Sith

    John, I thought “swag” was a curtain fashion term.

    QueenBee, I have no clue. I’m still trying to figure out what “planking” is….

  • LC LtC

    Yeah, we parents are real careful not to let all our thoughts gel into words in front of munchkins. Right.

    When my oldest was about four, she’s riding shotgun and Dad has just “commented on the passing scene.” Quietly, I thought. I look over and see her softly mouthing “son of a bitch…… son of a bitch.”

    Busted!

  • Laura

    Swag, to me, is freebie stuff stars and important people get at premiers and functions- which is what I’ll be getting when I go to all those with my Boo, George Clooney.

  • Jackpine Savage

    Hearing a kid say they want to kick a puuppy makes me want to Kick a Puppy LOL

  • Eldest

    Y’all…’swag’ is when you wear dark shades and walk like you have a wedgie whilst talking in a deep voice and smirking like you’ve got grill. And speaking improper English.

    And, mother dear, ‘planking’ is when you lay down on something (ANYTHING THAT CAN SUPPORT YOU) and hold your body straight and ridged for as long as you can. Then, someone takes a picture of this and posts it on Facebook like it’s some big deal.

    When ‘batmanning’ becomes an official term, just call me and I’ll explain that one too. It’s fairly new in our vernacular, but it’s getting up there.

  • Nomstress

    Thank you, oh fount of youth wisdom. My vernacular is obviously entrenched in the Dark Ages! 🙂 I thought it meant cheap, illegal stuff!

    LMAO about the dinner conversation. Can hardly wait to see you guys, and am bringing goodies!!!!

  • Nicole

    I knew what planking was but I was with Laura on swag. Thanks be to Eldest for putting us some knowledge.

  • Aewl

    swag? Thought that meant “Scientific Wild Ass Guess”.

  • David

    Yeh, kicking puppies (unless some heartless bastard has named a puppy after a politician *gag-spew*) is out.

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