Rats With Better PR

Yesterday afternoon, I went outside to water the flowers, praying that I wouldn’t end up murdering them yet again it would rain, since it was overcast and that would save me from having to roll out the sprinkler. I…..don’t have the best luck with plants. Except my hostas, which weirdly are freakishly huge under the tree.

I guess they thrive on ignorance and neglect.

Anyway, I go get the garden hose, and turn to talk to my calla lily. She hasn’t deserted me, either. Again, ignorance and neglect. I give her a good drink of water, and then turn to the marigolds in the bright teacup style pot, only to find broken leaves, snapped heads, and a mess of dirt. Why? Because some squirrel decided that was where he had hidden his treasure trove of acorns.

Seems legit.

Normally I am not one to get upset over something so small. But they had done it to the newly planted petunias out front, which were BRAND FREAKING NEW AND HAD NO ACORNS IN THE DIRT!! So of course, I snapped.

Me: STAY OUT OF MY POTTED PLANTS, YOU INSIPID BAG OF MANGY FUR!!

Squirrel: *looks at me from the fence edge*

Me: YES, YOU!! I CATCH YOU AROUND MY PLANTS AGAIN, AND I WILL MAKE STEW OUT OF YOUR HIDE!!

Neighbor: Hey Aggie*. How’s…. your day?

Me: Uh, Hey! Just…fine… watering plants.

Neighbor: Need a shotgun?

Me: I’m on it.

Neighbor: I didn’t hear a thing.

Me: I owe you.

I don’t like squirrels, as you can probably surmise. I don’t care that they have bushy tails, or cute little hands (which have nasty claws), or cheeky pouches. Screw that. I think they are nasty little birdseed thieves who conspire to wreak havoc on the roads and make your plants wither and die.

It’s a good thing I was defrosting chicken, because stew sounded pretty good right then

It’s Water, Not Kryptonite

This morning greeted us with an overcast sky. For this area, it is unusual to get rain, but when we do, it causes a rift in the space-time continuum, or in the minds of drivers. Mostly the latter.

As I was taking the kids to school, a young man pulled out in front of me, apparently not seeing my big red SUV with all its lights on. Then at the big intersection, one woman was driving fast enough that she locked her brakes when confronted with the red traffic light. She narrowly missed the van in front of me. Driving towards Little One’s school, several drivers fishtailed and skidded. One car was in a ditch.

I forgot to mention, it was a light drizzle, not a raging downpour. My windshield wipers were on their lowest setting.

So I shall stay home, choosing to live over taking chances with the “ZOMG!! I’M GOING TO DIE!!” drivers out there. At least until such time as one kid asks me to get something for some school project.

It’s part of the Murphy’s Mom Law

Life Moves Pretty Fast

What a day, so far.

Coming back from dropping off the kids, I witnessed a car accident and boy howdy, it was loud. Came home to wake Eldest up to take her to the dentist, and after dropping her off, saw a herd of cervines (deer, in case you wanted a new word of the day) running across the highway, bringing traffic to a screeching halt. Went to get gas, only to find that the gal in front of me in line was short to pay, so I paid the remainder, earning brownie points from the cashier. Came home to walk the dogs, who had to be restrained when they spotted a tiny rabbit running across the median. Went back to pick up Eldest, and take her to get her learner’s permit with the required 1,003 proofs of identification and a unit of blood.

Life stopped moving for about an hour at this point.

Once that was done, took her to lunch, came home to gather her school stuff, dropped her off, and went in search of a thrift store, where I scored a Blue Ball jar (Shut. Up.), old hardback, and nine paperbacks for ten bucks. Go outside to find a freakin’ hawk on my vehicle, calmly return inside until hawk was done stalking the poor rat that didn’t have a rat’s chance.

I must admit, it was rather awesome to see the hawk take off, dive and grasp the rat in its talons. I hope PETA is offended right now.

Once again, go to my vehicle, and begin the drive home, enjoying the fighter jets landing at the base. Come home, and squeeee about the jar again, and now it’s 1:40 PM, and time for me to get busy.

Life does move pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Revenge of the Fifth

No, I’m not talking about a fifth of liquor. Yesterday was May the Fourth, which hopefully was with you all day long. If it wasn’t, then I hope you imbibed from a fifth of something.

And it was a very long day for yours truly. Ran around town looking for last minute things for Hubby before he left for his trip, dropped him off at the airport at the height of rush hour, only to come home and find out my evening plans to have dinner with a friend fell through. It was just as well. I was extremely tired. I don’t remember falling asleep, to tell you the truth. I do recall having to get up at 6:45 AM to pick up Son from the Relay for Life, though…

Today is a new day, however. And I have the opportunity to attend the 9th Annual Wein and Saengerfest. Several wineries will be giving away samples, as well as local breweries. And let’s not forget about the “Saengerfest” part of the title. In a German town, food will be flowing along with the beer.

And guess what?? I am not the designated driver this time!!!!

Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ll be sloshy when I return home. But at least I will be able to sample wines without worry. Besides, I have to come home to make dinner and enjoy a movie with the kidlets and also go outside to enjoy the spectacular view of the Moon. No matter what, the geek in me always surfaces

Back to Earth

Well, Hubby has been back almost a whole week. As expected, the euphoria is starting to recede a bit in favor of the mundane. That always happens. The trick is to make the mundane fun.

I’m talking about home improvements, people.

I am ashamed to say that my patio looks like a tornado hit it. Today I am enlisting Hubby’s help in cleaning and repairing stuff, as well as helping me get some pretty flowers for the pots outside. Right now he is having fun playing a videogame keeping busy, but sadly, his relaxation is coming to an unfortunate end.

YAY!!! Petunias!! I love them, and they love Texas heat. Hopefully they will come back the way the ones from last year did. Those are in the front sidewalk, and are doing very well. With my luck, Hubby will want to get something more exotic. He always tries to push the bounds of my black thumb

Feeling Blue, and Loving It!

A few weeks ago, the Lawnmower Man came by to get the lawn ready for spring. He ended up having to actually MOW the lawn, because the weather had been fooling it into growing.

Anyway, he has a new guy on his crew. A new guy that apparently is from another state, or another planet, because he decided that my bluebonnets are weeds and must be eradicated from my flower beds!!!

Me: Holy…. why did you cut down the bluebonnets??

NG: Uh, well…they are weeds, ma’am.

Me: NOT IN TEXAS!

NG: Oh, well, I’m not familiar with that.

Me: Where are you from??

NG: California, ma’am.

Me: (smiling) Well, that explains a lot.

After I calmed down I proceeded to show him where the bluebonnets grow in my yard, and told him they were off limits until they seeded. He apologized and even offered to get new seeds for me, but I declined, thinking this year would be the Year Without Blue. But lo and behold, my bluebonnets came back!!

Pay no attention to the other weeds.

They cannot be beaten!!

I wish the rest of the weeds could be, though

Winter, Sorta

This morning finds my corner of the world in freezing temperatures. Ok, it’s 34* Fahrenheit, which is 1* Celsius for my readers in Metriclands. I’m well aware that some of you living up North think I’m whiny about this. And you would be right. But you would whine too, if you had enjoyed the wonderful warm weather we had through January. It was warm enough for me to wash the vehicles. It was warm enough the weeds were coming up, all confused and happy. It was warm enough that the A/C was kicking in.

I guess it’s time for me to get all the cold weather clothing out and put away the t-shirts. At least I get to clean out that part of my wardrobe.

I guess Winter is a woman, and we are always waiting for her here in Texas

Leaves of Red

It never fails. No matter where we move to, there is always some plant or tree that acts weird in my yard. I had a calla lily that Hubby bought for me when Son was born. I planted that outside our front door, and that thing bloomed like it was on radioactive steroids. I blamed it for giving me false hope about ever growing plants. In Germany, I had dusty millers that grew into bushes, causing my German neighbors to take me to task for letting them get out of hand. In reality, they were supposed to grow to 5 inches in height, not take over the garden. I ended up yanking them out completely. Oh, and foxglove made an appearance in the back garden. My next door neighbor kindly pointed out that it was poisonous. I kindly pointed out that it was a feature, not a bug.

And now, my tree won’t give up its leaves. I thought it was a fluke last year, since it was warm late in autumn here, but no. My tree is the only one that is clinging bitterly to its leaves, even after the windstorm we had last night.

There are other trees in the neighborhood that still have leaves, but not many deciduous ones. Sigh…. my tree can’t even defoliate right….

Rainy Days and Mondays

I only wish it would rain. That would lift my spirits, not bring me down. I never did understand that song by The Carpenters. Living in a tropical area growing up, rain was always punctual and always welcomed, and living in such a dry area now it is always appreciated when it falls. And now that I’m a mom, Mondays are a BLESSING. There is nothing more relaxing than drinking a hot cup of tea while watching rivulets of rain dance on your window.

I used to drive my mom crazy every afternoon while living in PR, because as soon as it started to rain, I was out the door. Eventually I stopped that habit, but I still love to watch the rain fall. It’s better than Prozac, and cheaper than therapy

He Knows Me So Well…

Wednesday evening I got a very sweet surprise from Hubby:

He sent me a plant for my birthday!! But not just any plant. This is a garden of succulents, which require little water and tend to thrive in dry areas. I was very happy and a bit teary-eyed, because he normally doesn’t send me flowers for my birthday. When he called to talk on Thursday I was all happy about it, and the conversation quickly devolved.

Me: Awww, thank you for the beautiful arrnagement, honey!

Hubby: I’m glad you like it.

Me: It’s perfect!!

Hubby: Sure is… they are hard to kill.

Me:……

Me: (huge sigh)

Me: Yeah, you’re right.

Hubby: (smirks)*

I confess, I am not a gardener in any way. Lord knows I try, and it’s a miracle things are still somewhat green outside my house. My mom can make a tree blossom from a few plant cells on a dead stick. I so much as look at a shrub or a pretty potted plant and they tremble and wither. I once bought a thornless rose and the sucker grew thorns in retaliation.

At least I know my limits

*Liberties taken with the conversation, since I was too aggrieved at the time to remember correctly…