As God is my witness, I am not making this up.
Yesterday, the window on my van was repaired. That required the presence of a “stranger” in my driveway. My neighbor’s dog, an awesome, well-trained Australian Shepherd, was consequently driven nuts by the fact that someone he doesn’t know was in such close proximity to the area he is tasked to guard. I could hear him barking even while I was inside my house. Anyway, my neighbor was also dogsitting for her parents’ Aussie, a much younger, active, less-trained puppy. This puppy has the gift of egging other dogs on about barking and chasing and doing the things dogs normally do, only at a few orders of magnitude. In other words, the puppy is usually the instigator.
After the repairman left, I moved the van into the garage, and then proceeded to go move the Pathfinder to the driveway, since I had parked it on the street. My neighbor, blessed woman that she is, was out with both dogs letting them relieve themselves. Her dog wasn’t on a leash, because he is trained to stay on the lawn. Before I go any further, I must underline how much I like this dog. As I walked down my driveway, perilously close to my neighbor’s yard, the dog, still in protective mode, charges at me. As taught, I stand my ground, and as HE was taught, he charges again.
My neighbor is screaming at her dog while frantically holding on to the instigator puppy.
On the second charge, the dog finds something to nip at. Now, my arms were at my sides, and I was standing sideways to him by this time. The only thing he can detect, small as it is, is my *ahem* upper pectoral milk decanting device. As I said, he is well-trained, so he only nipped at it.
But holy cow that was more than enough!!!
In tears, I get in the Pathfinder and move it, while my neighbor is calming and reinforcing training on her dog. I get out to let her know I’m fine, and hilarity ensues.
Neighbor: ARE YOU OK????
Me: Yes, it hurt a bit but..
Neighbor: OMIGAWD!! Did (name redacted to protect the innocent) bite you???
Me: Just a nip, nothing serious, really. (I am trying to calm her down by now)
Me: Uh…. (pointing).
Neighbor: OMIGAWD!!! Did he break skin???
(Keep in mind if a dog does draw blood, it must be quarantined for 72 hours, and the person treated for it)
Me: Oh no… not at all. I’m fine.
Neighbor: Are you sure? Take a picture of it and send it to me.
Me: (Laughing) No offense, but that is something I would only do for Hubby!!
Luckily, I am married to a doctor who took it upon himself to *ahem* check it over to make sure it was ok. Yes, it’s a bit tender, but it will heal. Suffice it to say, the dog was very contrite, and did snuggle up to me to make up for it. He sure is an awesome dog, but apparently takes that whole “take a bite out of crime” thing to extremes